The Full Irish Deliverance "Dream Team"

The Full Monty: Back row from left to right -
Kev K, Dai, Pete, Lone Wolf, Neil, Jonny, Kev M, Carl.

Front Row:
Paul, Noel, Steve, Jim.
I think you'll agree, or perhaps not, that in the sporting world rarely has there been such a conglomeration of superb athletes at the pinnacle of their sporting prowess assembled at one time. Jessica Ennis, Mo Farah, Daley Thompson, Usain Bolt, Steven Redgrave, Eric The Eel...
EAT YOU HEARTS OUT

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Jonny Devaney is fund raising for Warwickshire and Northamptonshire air ambulance. So is Kevin Massey, Hope-and Anchor, Paul Mundy, Paul Bannan, Kev Kennedy, Pete Marsh, Carl Taylor, Shorty Barrett, Neil Thomson, Jim Pittaway, and Noel. !

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River Wye Canoeing

Irish Deliverance crew model latest "must have" wear for the discerning canoeist

Three of the teams "athletes" limber up in the glorious English summer ready
for the River Wye challenge.

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River Wye - Ross to Symonds Yat

Stunning Wye valley scenery

All but two of the Irish Deliverance Adventures made the journey south-west towards Ross on Wye in Herefordshire for the latest "training" expedition for Ireland. Worries that the trip would be cancelled were unfounded as we were informed that the river after the recent rains was at the maximum level allowed for canoes. You might have thought that we had arrived early at the Wye as the M5 motorway probably had as much water flowing down it as the river itself. Undaunted we plodded on via a diversion as the M50 motorway was closed due to bridge repairs. After a full English Breakfast in a local greasy spoon and a couple of slugs of rough Scottish whiskey by Lone Wolf, we headed riverside bellies full ready for the paddle down the swollen river to Symonds Yat and Ye Old Ferrie Inn. After completing a safety briefing the bewildered boss of the canoe company threw more than a couple of glances at Jim's rather fetching  seal skin "100%" waterproof Carlos Fandango socks as displayed in the photo. He managed to keep a straight face when he learned that the rest of Jims' attire was, from the middle shin up, about as waterproof as sponge. The instructor was left in no doubt by one of the other lads that Jims' chosen leggings were in fact a fashion statement and would surely impress any female canoeists en route. It was decided that we were to have two canoes strapped together due to the high level of the water which would minimise the chance of capsizing and an unwanted dip in the drink.

Jim modelling latest "must be seen in"
lower shin canoeing fashion wear

 As soon as we got onto the river it was obvious that we would easily arrive before the five hours we had to get to Symons Yat. We could have probably drifted the thirteen mile or so in that time due to the fast current of the river. Our other training sessions had been on local rivers in the Leamington area and as enjoyable as they had been the Wye was stunning. The river was wide, fast, and meandering, the high wooded valley breathtaking. Even Lone Wolf commented on the beauty of the area in between the many swigs he had from the whiskey bottle and dipping constantly into his bag for food. The food he produced from that bag could have probably lasted a paddle the length of the Nile. Snickers bars, Mars bars, whiskey, chocolate muffins, cereal bars, whiskey, ham, cheese sandwiches, whiskey, and more appeared at regular intervals. Seagulls trailed the canoe like they do trawlers hoping for a crumb or two as Lone Wolf scoffed and imbibed continuously. The trip down to Symonds Yat passed relatively uneventfully as most just took in the marvellous setting.The solitude and peace was interrupted by Pete however as suddenly he let out a blood curdling scream arms thrashing and smacking the back of his neck. His perception of the incident was that he thought a "massive dragonfly" had attacked him whilst paddling. The actual cause of his terror was that Kev K had picked up a floating branch and skilfully managed to brush Petes' neck thus simulating an insect offensive on his nape.

Lone Wolf takes a "little something to warm me up" sip
from the well thumbed whiskey bottle

Arriving at Symonds Yat a long time before our arranged lift back to Ross saw us head inevitably to Ye Old Ferrie Inn. A sign outside advertised that today there was a cider festival and locally concocted ciders were available. Steve was the first to head for the cider room. I thought it a little alarming that when asking Steve for a sip of his cider to try he replied "don't try it just by a pint". So I did. I wish I hadn't . The first sip literately had my right eye squinting and taste buds on the tongue telling me NO !. What they made this swill with I'd rather not think about. I managed to get the pint down eventually and noticed an information leaflet for the different festival ciders on sale. Unfortunately, and after just one glass of this stuff I could not focus on the words. My face burning, my taste buds working overtime and my sight blurred I made the wise decision not to indulge in another glass of this vicious brew.

All in all a great day was had in the magnificent Wye valley and if the River Shannon proves as spectacular we are all in for treat. Just hope there are no cider festivals over there.

Pure joy in Lone Wolfs  face as he discovers that he still has three chocolate
muffins remaining

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Back of the T-Shirt complete with route 

Front with silhouette of Lone Wolf with can in hand

IRISH DELIVERANCE T-SHIRTS !!

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Back of T-Shirt - https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151056887407386&set=a.10150948028012386.475784.680987385&type=1&theater

Irish Deliverance T-Shirts surely destined to be the latest trend in The Spa are now available for purchase. £20 English pounds will secure you this once in lifetime chance to own such a ground-breaking garment.

T-Shirts available from the Hope & Anchor but hurry as the queues are already gathering and tents are being pitched outside the pub as we speak ready for the launch. We anticipate there may be scuffles from buyers to obtain this iconic garb.

Press link above to view the T-Shirt.

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Second training session - Stoneleigh-Warwick-Radford-Leamington- UPDATE

Launching Point : The River Sowe
at Stoneliegh 

Let me begin with an ominous statistic: After two training sessions and an approximate total mileage of around 20 miles, almost 50% of the Irish Deliverance crew have found themselves in the "drink". I wont bother with the exact mathematical probability, but it does strike me as a sound bet that after about 370 miles of paddling in Ireland all can expect a fair amount of time doggy paddling in the Shannon rather than paddling in the canoe.

At the crack of dawn 9:30 (?) the team minus one, who was on holiday, faced the longest stint in the canoes so far. A fifteen mile paddle from the River Sowe at Stoneleigh via The Saxon Mill on to Warwick, up onto the canal at the viaduct then, unbelievably, past the Moorings Pub without stopping for "refreshment", up to Radford, under a hedge back onto the River Leam, and finally to the Leam Boat Centre. Problems were the order of the day from the onset as three journeys to Stoneleigh had to be made to transport the boats. On reaching the start at Stoneleigh Church, party preparations were well under way on the church grounds for the Diamond Jubilee celebrations. To get to the launching point the transport for the canoes had to drive down a private road leading to the river. This despicable act of wanton trespass served to upset a couple of the locals working on the party. Luckily the teams diplomatic attaché Jim P. managed to sweet talk the concerned woman with the sort of spiel that a member of the House of Commons would be proud. Unfortunately the woman's husband proved a tad more malevolent. You would have thought that a party of Afghan asylum seekers had set up a dozen tents on his front lawn. James' temper held however and the "gentleman" stormed off incoherently ranting and gesticulating back to his cottage by the river. No hard feelings amongst the paddlers were detected as the team wished him well and hoped it did not rain to hard on him for his party and he didn't slip in the mud and break his back on the way home. 

Pete inspects joints in the brickwork
before ill-fated descent of the weir

Weirs are proving to be the most entertaining of obstacles in our quest. Three were "dealt with" yesterday  one in particular  causing extreme hilarity for most of the crew. I for one only knew of one weir on yesterdays route that being the one at the Saxon Mill. The first had me and others literately crying uncontrollably with laughter. I must say Steve and myself tackled the obstruction rather successfully I thought, and managed both to get in the boat at the bottom with only the shins and feet getting wet due to a precarious slide down the very slippy gradient of the weir. Sitting smug in the boat we turned to watch the drama unfold as the Jonny and Dai  decided on a different and more ambitious method of descent which was...... paddle straight over the edge !. Ensconced in the boat awaiting the attempt I did mention to Steve but not the others, that if they opt for this approach that it could end in tears, in fact tears of laughter from the rest. At the top of the weir Dai positioned  himself at the front of the boat as Jonny, knee deep in the river, nudged the canoe right to the edge of the drop. Dai's face wore a rather apprehensive look as the boat was teetering on the edge with Jonny yet to board. Dai was by this time ordering Jonny in no uncertain terms to "Get in the f****** boat and taking the hint Jon managed to scramble in. Both "bumped" in their seats to nudge the canoe forward for the dive...........then it happened........ the boat tipped.....the faces of the occupants both obtained a look of dread........... and in seconds an undecipherable shout from Dai preceded the boat plummeting at an alarming angle into the frothing water below and both the canoeists were in the drink. They say laughter is the best medicine and if this is the case then the rest of the team will never have a days illness again. Rarely can I remember laughing so raucously than at that moment. When they both emerged from under the  water the inquest started between the two as to whose fault it was with both naturally blaming the other. One of the people in fits of laughter was Pete. This mirth was not to last long. On seeing the Devaneys predicament he opted for the seemingly less hazardous route of the slippery weir. Three tentative steps later his footing failed miserably and as a consequence sent him sliding penguin like down the weir and  into the aqua thus sharing the same fate as the other two. Cue more tumultuous merriment amongst the dry members of the team.

Kev K. gracefully disembarks at the
Saxon Mill despite Kev M trying to poke him
back with a paddle

Spontaneous laughter erupted during the rest of the journey just thinking about the three reluctant swimmers. After that nothing could really match those moments. The diners at the Saxon Mill who had window seats  while eating their meals seemed to find it highly amusing as they watched us trying to get out of the canoes and climb up on the wall. Miraculously none fell in despite the less than nimble footwork when scrambling over the other canoes to get out. The rest of the trek went relatively well except maybe when a resident of "private" car park/garden where we hauled the canoes out to avoid another weir phoned the police and complained we were trespassing. As it probably was not on the heinous crime category that the resident seemed to think we saw nothing of the local constabulary. We completed the voyage tired but happy and are all looking forward to the trip to the River Wye trip.

CANOE LIMBO VIDEO

PHOTOS

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Update

Pub local Dave "The Grave" Shepherd begrudgingly donates his 25p as other
pub locals cower in the corner in case of any
 backlash from the local firebrand 

Pub local Dave "The Grave" Shepherd has astonishingly donated monies to our charity. Other locals looked on agog as The Grave put pen to paper and unlikely as it may appear, actually put his hand in his long long pocket and forked out the 25p he found on the floor of the Cask and Bottle while cleaning the pub. Whether or not we can accept this lavish offer is subject to speculation as we are awaiting a psychiatric assessment from Rampton High Security Hospital.